31 Jan Through death to a new beginning
He will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove his people’s disgrace from all the earth. The LORD has spoken. Isaiah 25:8 (NIV)
No, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a teen cry so hard, so forcefully.
It absolutely broke my heart, and I felt powerless as my eyes took in the scene, my ears absorbed his wailing as my arms wanted nothing more than to embrace this tortured soul.
Almost without fail, you can usually count on at least one moment at each men’s retreat or youth event that will surprise you, but this one was different for me.
Uncharted territory.
It was a Saturday evening, and dozens of men of varying ages packed out the room. The only thing fuller than this room were the bellies of the men and teens who had just eaten an over-the-top “man-feast” to cap off an exhilarating Saturday recreating in the outdoors, hanging out with each other, and enjoying some quiet time with God. So deep was our sense of satisfaction that it seemed each us could have let out a collective, “Ahhh!” Yes, indeed, we felt the Lord’s presence: He was in this place, and we were joyous for Him!
Our message this Saturday evening focused on joy, even in broken relationships. And it was fertile ground for discussion! During our time of sharing, various men across the audience recounted broken relationships: with their boss, with their buddies, with their brood, and even with their brides. Whoever said men aren’t really interested in sharing deep, personal stories need only attend a men’s retreat to see this simply isn’t the case!
About 20 minutes into our group discussion, a young teen cautiously raised his hand to share his story, his broken relationship. I could sense the reluctance in his posture, but it was the horror etched upon his face that still gives me chills. As the men turned to focus their attention on this teen, “Jonas” (not his real name) stammered to bring forth his tragic tale…
“Pastor Travis, I really messed up….”
If his body language didn’t have my full attention, Jonas’ confession sure did.
“It’s OK, Jonas, we all mess up – all of us,” I assured him.
“Yeah, but this is a lot different. A few years ago, my best friend kept telling me he was going to kill himself. I told him that didn’t make any sense. I told him that he shouldn’t do that.” Jonas slowly recounted.
Then harsh tears streamed down Jonas’ face as his voice lowered, “But one time after we got into a huge fight over something, he told me again that he was going to kill himself, and, in frustration, I told him to just go ahead and do it!”
Every eye, every ear, every man was laser-focused on Jonas.
In a wailing moan, Jonas bawled out, “And he went home and killed himself! And it’s all my fault! IT’S ALL MY FAULT!”
Plunging his face into his hands as his body slumped forward, Jonas bellowed out his grief with a forcefulness I hadn’t previously observed. Before my eyes, I was now face-to-face with a broken young man, trying to make sense of what had happened years ago, but as real to him as the day it had all happened.
And that’s where God totally took over, moving us formerly frozen men – from fear, from shock, from disbelief – to surround Jonas in a huddle of prayer, love, and acceptance. Though my memory of this exact moment is but a blur to me, man after man placed his hands on Jonas, the center of this massive huddle, as we with one voice prayed out to God for His peace, His forgiveness, His healing.
Afterwards, several of us men stayed afterward to comfort and talk with Jonas, to reassure him that Jesus still loves him and that his friend’s death was not Jonas’ fault. We discovered that Jonas had come to this men’s retreat at the last moment, less than 24 hours prior to kickoff. We also learned that Jonas’ biological father was pretty much completely out of the picture, and that Jonas’ mother’s boyfriend, Dwight (not his real name), a good Christian man, had readily agreed to bring Jonas along with him. How God works!
Dwight quietly corroborated Jonas’ sad story and the subsequent, mounting guilt Jonas felt, and how this retreat, along with Jonas’ ongoing counseling, was a last ditch effort before more dire consequences could have taken place. Remarked Dwight, “This terrible death is a chance for a new beginning for Jonas.”
In essence, Dwight spoke with such wisdom, such steeled resolve that, yes, even through death a new beginning arose, just like Christ rising from the dead to victorious life evermore!
The Lord through Isaiah (25:8 NIV) promises that, “He will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove his people’s disgrace from all the earth. The LORD has spoken.” The loss of Jonas’ childhood friend is no less tragic, and it’s quite certain that life for Jonas and all those who loved his friend will never be the same. But what is even more certain is that Christ will indeed comfort us, protect us, heal us, and take us home to be with Him when our time on earth is complete. He will wipe every tear from all our faces!
At A Faithful Dad we talk a lot about legacy: how will I be remembered? Dwight left home for a weekend with Jonas, and whether Dwight knows it or not, he is leaving a lasting legacy for Christ! By loving Jonas through a ghastly tragedy, Dwight reminded us of God’s glorious truth: even through death, a new beginning is possible only with Christ!
Challenge: Dwight stepped up to the challenge of loving a broken young Jonas. How will YOU step up to the challenge of loving someone who is right now broken?
On behalf of our board and serving Jesus with you,
Travis L. Zimmerman
Pastor and Co-Founder
